


Secrets

by nursemchurt



Series: 禁じられた遊び -Adult Children- [2]
Category: BUCK-TICK
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, High School, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Senior year, hinan go-go era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-14
Updated: 2018-05-14
Packaged: 2019-05-06 21:17:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,149
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14656419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nursemchurt/pseuds/nursemchurt
Summary: Sakurai and Imai are dating but are keeping it under wraps. Can they handle the possibility of their relationship being exposed?





	Secrets

**Author's Note:**

> A companion piece (sequel?) to [Saturday Matinee](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14483967).
> 
>  
> 
> _(PS: Please excuse my procrastination from updating[Vita Mechanicalis](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14246499). It's a bit of a slow-burn/world-building heavy thing but I promise I haven't cast it aside!)_

Hisashi sighed against Atsushi's lips as the younger boy pushed him further back onto the wall, opening his mouth to allow Atsushi to explore deeper with his tongue. His hands were under Atsushi's shirt, fingertips running along his spine as they memorized every bump before settling in to grip at his hips. The weight of Atsushi seated straddling across his lap sunk Hisashi into the bed they were seated on. He was trapped under Atsushi and all of his affections but it was a prison he never wanted to break free from.

 

Eventually, Atsushi pulled back for air and Hisashi took the opportunity to lean forward and gently suck on Atsushi's adams apple.

 

“Hisa…” Atsushi hissed while throwing his arms around his shoulders and leaning his head further back, “D-don’t leave a mark, please…” Hisashi murmured affirmatively and moved on to kissing his way up Atsushi's neck before taking his earlobe into his mouth.

 

They'd kept the time they spent like this a secret from nearly everyone. Not out of shame or embarrassment, but out of fear of how Atsushi's father would react. As they began to spend more intimate time together, Hisashi grew more aware of what kind of man Atsushi's father and even older brother were towards him. A cigarette burn here, some bruises that Hisashi couldn't recall making with his lips there. Even though he had days that he wanted to proudly declare his affections, Hisashi realized the best way to let Atsushi know he cared was to do so in silence. Giving him safe shelter from his father, a place to lower his guard, and filling him full of love and reassurance before letting him return home for the sake of his mother. That was what Hisashi offered and Atsushi gladly accepted it.

 

After what felt like an eternity of the two trading kisses and taking turns tasting the other, Hisashi felt Atsushi take one of his arms off his shoulders and rest his hand over his own. Atsushi squeezed his hand and broke off from kissing in order to lock eyes with Hisashi.

 

“Mm what's wrong Acchan?” Hisashi brought his free hand up to Atsushi's cheek, softly stroking with his thumb. Patiently, he waited for a response, watching Atsushi blush and grow into a serious expression.

 

“Hisa,” his hand shook slightly as he gripped the hand under his own tighter, “I…” Feeling the words die out in his throat, Atsushi let out a deep breath before moving Hisashi's hand across his body. Hisashi continued to lock eyes on Atsushi's but felt as his hand was taken off the slender hip it had been resting on, across the soft expanse of Atsushi's stomach, and finally being dragged lower, coming to rest in between Atsushi's legs.

 

The two boys froze, continuing to gaze into each other's eyes, anticipating the next move. Atsushi was wide-eyed and nervous, hoping he hadn't been too forward, Hisashi simply in awe of the situation in his room.

 

Hesitantly, Hisashi flexed his fingers around the bulge behind the fly of Atsushi's pants, feeling the outline and taking in the warmth of what was behind the denim. Atsushi's breath was shaky and shallow as his eyes dropped away from Hisashi's and looked down at their hands in between them. Slowly pulling his hand away from on top of the other boy’s, Atsushi brought his other hand down as well and used both to unbutton the top of his fly before bringing his arms to rest at his sides. Hisashi slowly pulled down the zipper, exposing the waistband of Atsushi's underwear. Atsushi let out the softest gasp as he felt Hisashi's fingers ghost across the top of his waistband before curling into them to push the fabric down and away from his body. With his arousal on full display, Atsushi felt his face grow hot and wondered momentarily if the color in his face was betraying him. He closed his eyes and sucked in a breath as he felt Hisashi’s hand close in around him.

 

Reveling in the feel of Atsushi in his hand, hard and hot, Hisashi began to tentatively move up, down, and back again. Enjoying the feel of skin on skin, the familiarity of his actions and the difference in performing them on another. He watched Atsushi’s face, studying it and filing away mental notes of how he reacted to certain touches. He shifted underneath Atsushi, bending his knees up to support the boy on top as he began to slump forward, getting lost in the sensation of Hisashi stroking him.

 

Leaning back against Hisashi’s legs, Atsushi found himself growing bolder as his body temperature rose further. Sweeping one hand up his body he pulled the hem of his t-shirt up to his chin. After all this time together he had never bared so much of himself to Hisashi at one time, but something inside him needed him to now more than ever. He wanted Hisashi to see and touch and taste every part of himself. The intensity of his desire and arousal finally gave voice to his sighs and breathes, causing him to croak out Hisashi’s name a little louder than either expected.

 

Snapping his hips up, they both grunted as Hisashi used his lower body to push Atsushi against him. As Atsushi instinctively went to bury his face into the crook of Hisashi’s neck Hisashi turned to get his lips near his ears.

 

“Shh… you’ve gotta stay quiet Soosh.” The record they had been playing at the start of their makeout session to drown themselves out had ended some time ago and Hisashi was not going to breakaway from Atsushi just for that. Atsushi nodded and let out a muffled moan against Hisashi as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders, bringing his fingers into the thick mass of short brown hair on Hisashi’s head. Hisashi sighed and leaned his head back into Atsushi’s hands as he brought his free hand up to the nape of Atsushi’s neck to do the same with the younger boy’s jet black hair.

 

Atsushi struggled to keep his voice down as Hisashi picked up his pace. It felt so good and he found himself desperately trying to move his own hips into the rhythm with the urge to climax drawing closer. He felt his body make its final tense up before release when suddenly--

 

“Hisashi! Mom wants to know if Acchan’s gonna stay for din-- What are you two doing?”

 

It was one of Hisashi’s siblings bursting in unannounced. In the startle of the door being thrown open behind him, Atsushi had lost control, spilling himself into Hisashi’s hand and who knew where else between the two of them as he jerked upright. He looked at Hisashi with eyes full of panic and tears forming at the brim as a cold sick feeling drew down on himself. Keeping his back to the door and the kid at it, he pushed himself off Hisashi, quickly redressing.

 

“Nothing! We’re not doing nothing,” Atsushi yelled back as large drops of water fell from his eyes. “I’ve gotta go back home now, I can’t stay for dinner.” Hisashi quickly wiped his hand on his bed, trying to stop Atsushi but it was too late. With his pants refastened and shirt pulled back down, Atsushi bolted out of the room like a wounded deer as he fled Hisashi’s home.

 

Hisashi’s younger sister stood there, trying to piece together what she walked in on.

 

“Were you two kissing?” She yelled out, not so much in disgust of it being two boys but of the fact that she had to witness it with her own two eyes. “I’m gonna tell--” She stopped mid-sentence as her older brother launched himself off the bed looking like a crazed animal. Pushing his sister further into the room, Hisashi slammed the door shut and stood against it.

 

“Akane! You have to promise me,” Hisashi started in, voice shaking with fear as he tried to sound intimidating, “You have to promise that you’re not going to tell anyone what we’re doing!”

 

“Why not? It’s not fair! I’m not allowed to kiss boys in my room so why can you?”

 

Hisashi felt consumed by the sound of his own heartbeat in his ears. How was he going to convince his sister that she needed to keep this to herself? What about Atsushi? How could he stomach coming back here after this? He felt so sick that something so wonderful between them had turned into such a nightmare.

 

“Well? Why should I not… Hisa are you crying?”

 

Hisashi snapped back to reality and felt the cool wetness rolling down his face and dropped to his knees as he began to openly sob.

 

“Akane… Please. Atsushi would get in so much trouble if his dad found out! I… I won’t kiss him in the house anymore if you don’t think it’s fair but you can’t tell! They won’t let him… I won’t be able to see him ever again!” Hisashi fell forward onto the ground, partially to bow to beg for Atsushi’s safety, but mostly because he was overcome crying from grief at the idea of what would happen to his Acchan if word made it to his father.

 

“No! I don’t want that either! He’s so nice and he eats all the burdock from my plate when mom makes it for dinner so I’m not in trouble for leaving food!” Akane kneeled on the floor next to her brother, rubbing his back as he shook in violent sobs. “I won’t tell anyone, and make sure Acchan knows that too! I don’t want him to hate me…”

 

Hisashi slowly raised his head from the floor, grabbing his shirt and pulling it up to his face in order to wipe away his tears and blow his nose into it since it was already too filthy to keep wearing. He looked up at his sister, who moved to his side before giving him a hug.

 

Unfortunately, that day had built back a wall between the two boys. They continued to hang out together with the rest of their friends, but Atsushi no longer spent time alone with Hisashi. Even at school Hisashi found Atsushi had grown cold and distant with him. Unable to deal with the sudden rejection and loss, he finally caught him one day, skipping a class period to smoke under the bleachers. Before Atsushi could put out his cigarette and leave, Hisashi grabbed him by his wrist, eyes pleading for him to stay.

 

“Soosh, she didn’t tell anyone. She promised not to, so why are you being so mean to me?”

“I just think it’s better if we keep things like this, Imai-senpai.”

 

Hisashi felt the very fabric of his soul rip apart at the sound of his last name coming from Atsushi’s lips. Lips that not too long ago would sing his name against his body were now pushing him away with distant formality. As if sensing his heartbreak, Atsushi sighed wearily and stepped forward, cupping Hisashi’s face and pressing their foreheads together.

 

“Imai, no, Hisashi. You have no idea how happy I’ve been to meet you. Being your friend, making new friends, starting a band together. It’s the first time in a long time I’ve ever felt alive but,” he sighed and pulled back away, “I’m asking for too much now. You deserve better than me to love. You deserve someone you don’t have to hide.”

 

“I don’t want to hide you though Acchan.” Imai said shaking his head at Atsushi, his hands reaching out to grab the other’s, “I’m not ashamed of you. I just want to keep you safe.”

 

“That’s what I mean Hisa. I’m trapped under my father’s shadow until we can get out of Gunm--”   
  


“Then I’ll wait for you until we can get out of here!”

 

Time stood still as the two boys stood under the bleachers, eyes locked on one another. Atsushi understood that despite his laid-back personality, Hisashi could be deadly serious about certain matters, and he knew this was one of those. Would it be fair to make Hisashi wait? They were in the middle of their final school year, and Atsushi had been tucking away money since their initial decision to leave for Tokyo after graduation.

 

“Hisashi,” Atsushi started, “I promise, you won’t have to hide me after we move to Tokyo, but you don’t have to wait for me either. I treasure your friendship more than anything we have, and I never want to lose that part understand? If you want to see other people instead--”

 

Hisashi broke the distance between them again, pulling Atsushi into the sweetest, most tender kiss he could give him, hoping that pouring out his feelings this way would help the boy he was madly in love with understand.

 

“I’ll wait through anything for you Atsushi, because I love you.”


End file.
